10 Lessons about How to Win Friends and Influence People (Part 2 of 2)

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6. Get the other person saying, “Yes, yes” immediately.

Never begin a conversation with a subject of which your interlocutor has a different opinion.
Always begin to talk about a topic of which you both have the same viewpoint and highlight those similarities.
Get the other person to say ”yes’’ and never give him the chance to say ”no’’.
Once a person says ”no’’ , his pride will stick to it’s refusal and he will hardly change his conclusion.
Even if he realizes later that his ”no’’ was impulsive but his but his self-regard won’t admit it.
It is important to get one positive feedback after the other to get the conversation in the right direction.
This is an easy, powerful tactic which gets often neglected in our everyday life but is used by successful business people who try to sell you something for example.

7. Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

Don’t you trust your own ideas more than then the ones which someone else serves you on the ’’silver platter’’?
If you want to win the cooperation of other ones, don’ try to convince them with your plans but give suggestions so that the other person comes to his own consideration of your desired decision.
No one likes to be forced to do something.
We prefer to do or buy a thing when it was (or at least we’re in the belief that it was) entirely our decision.
For example: If you want your ideas in work to become realized, you have to make a casual remark to your boss about what you want and of course, he must have a benefit from this idea too.
I could tell you many examples of people in history that used this principle but I want to keep this post as short as possible that you get the most out of your time.

8. Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.

It’s not unusual that the other person is entirely wrong, but he still thinks he is right.
Don’t criticize him.
Every fool can accuse someone of something.
To understand a person it takes above average people.
If you find out why the other person thinks like this you may just have the key to his personality in your hand.
When you ask yourself how you would behave in his shoes you learn a lot about human nature.
A true conversation can only result by showing your dialogue partner that his ideas are as important as your own.
Ask yourself if you would like to hear those things which come from you if you were in his shoes.
Next time you want to sell something, question yourself ‘‘For what reason could this person buy my product?’’.
Admittedly it takes some time but you will get better results.

9. Smile.

Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says: I like you. I am happy to see you.
That’s why dogs are so popular, because they are always happy to see us, and we are happy as well.
The same happens if a baby smiles at us, no matter how bitter and serious you were before you smile back and become cheerful.
I am not talking of a fake smile, I mean an honest and whole-hearted smile.
Teachers, managers, and salespersons that smile have often more success and smiling parents raise happier children.
There is an old Chinese proverb that says ”A man without a smiling face must never open a shop’’

We all know these people that are happy and smile all day long, be this person and smile every hour at least one time at somebody.
If you don’t feel happy, force yourself to smile and you communicate to the subconscious mind that you are feeling good and satisfied.
Not who or where we are makes us happy or unhappy, but how we face and think about it.
Most people are only as happy as they want to be.

10. Call attention to people’s mistakes indirectly.

One afternoon steel magnate Charles Schwab went through his roll mills and noticed that some of his workers were smoking.
Though directly above their head was a NO SMOKING sign.
He could just point at the sign and ask his workers if they couldn’t read.
What did he do instead?
He gave them a cigarette and told them that he preferred them to smoke outside of the building.
They knew that he noticed them smoking and that they broke a lesson but he didn’t talk about their mistake and they gave him credit for this.
I like this story because it shows what this lesson is all about to point out a mistake indirectly if you tell it directly to the persons face he will be offended.
If a person does something wrong, for example, you have some construction workers that do great work but forget to put away their rubbish.
You take yourself some minutes to collect the garbage and put it together in some corner.
Next day when you see the workers tell them how great the yard now looks without the garbage and that the neighbors don’t have to get annoyed about the dirt.
From this day on the construction workers will clear away their rubbish.

How To Win Friends And Influence People

Until next time,

Tom

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